Distraction or Direction?
I know I’ve been pretty silent for the last couple of weeks. Honestly, I’ve been going through some shit. Nothing I’m ready to unpack in detail right now, but enough that I’ve been trying to keep myself busy so I don’t have to sit with it too long. Weight, mental health, emotions: all of it has been hitting just a little more than usual. When that happens I usually end up either wallowing or distracting myself. This time it’s been distractions, but it’s felt very…productive.
In the last two weeks I shot four interviews for my documentary, got footage at a local women’s tournament, and went to a local film festival and exchanged info with a bunch of the filmmakers. I’ve also been working on some rebranding and a roadmap for RocDocs, plus a partnership agreement with another local organization.
All of this has made me really think about what I’m doing. For this documentary, for these different communities that I’m part of, and for myself. In all of this busyness and distraction I make for myself, I keep spending more and more time trying to make these things better, not just for me but for everyone else associated. I’m starting to think that might be telling me something. Not necessarily that I’ve figured things out, but maybe this is the direction I’m supposed to be heading. Maybe this is the direction I WANT to be heading.
So yeah, I’m finding myself actually hopeful. Hopeful that I can actually pull off this documentary, that I can help build up the communities that I care so much about, for various other things in my life, and hopeful that I can actually find happiness.
Discuss